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18/Jul/2018

Arrogance is not a quality that you are alien to! You certainly know someone or the other who is arrogant and is always trying to intimidate others. They are like classroom bullies, enjoying the act of putting down other people, completely disregarding their emotions and feelings. While reading this, are you getting a sinking feeling in your stomach that maybe these are the traits that define your own personality? If the answer is yes, you need to work on your arrogance before it consumes you.

There are several ill-effects of arrogance. We are not getting into them in this blog. This blog is about dealing with your arrogance once you have identified that you have this problem. You may ask at this point, how do I know if I am arrogant? After all, I am not able to take an objective view of my own attitude! The answer to this problem is that you can find out if you are arrogant through the opinion of friends and family. Are they afraid of sharing things with you that you may not approve? Do they feel intimidated by the high ground that you take in matters of achievement or moral compass? When you tick these boxes, you can be sure that you are arrogant.

Dealing with arrogance is a long, hard way. To be honest, the heart and the mind likes being arrogant. There is a certain joy in proving people wrong and then seeing them agree to your viewpoint. It is quite invigorating and addictive as well. However, you should understand that people are agreeing with your view simply because you are dominating them and subjugating them to surrender to your opinion. That is not called agreeing or supporting. That’s the technique of a bully and the effect is short-lived. You should learn to accommodate the views of others and respect them, just as you do yours.

Secondly, wake up to the fact that not all are uniformly talented, gifted or able. That does not make others inferior or unqualified. It may be that they did not have the same opportunities like you had. Take them in your stride to work with them. Be generous and give ample room to others. This will enable them to do their best, instead of arm-twisting them into doing things.

Arrogance can threaten and end careers and personal lives. Get in touch with Moner Alo for psychological counselling to handle your uncontrollable arrogance.


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18/Jul/2018

It is normal for a kid to be disappointed and angry when you refuse them something. It can be some additional time at the playground, some extra dollops of ice-cream or simply a refusal to study. As a parent, you are right in thinking about the welfare of your child and take decisions accordingly. When not allowed to have things their way, kids often get temperamental and vent out their frustration, much like adults. Except that adults have the ability in them to understand their outbursts of emotion and check them when they go overboard. Kids don’t always have that safety valve.

Our psychologists at Moner Alo deal with temperamental kids and their parents regularly. In the modern life, when parents are increasingly unable to devote more time to their kids, it is obvious that they feel neglected and sidelined. On the other hand, parents have their own issues to deal with, like work pressure in the professional arena. As a result, they are hard-pressed for time, often working longer hours. The whole cycle takes a heavy toll on the kid’s mind, making them opinionated and obstinate. Here are some psychological points that you can keep in mind while dealing with your temperamental kids.

For starters, you have to remain calm and composed, despite the anger building up inside you to discipline and rebuke the child. Remember that these temperamental outbursts are not planned or manipulative in nature. They are simple expressions of a kid’s emotion. You have to respect that and treat the kid with dignity. Shooing away the kid, along with the problem, or leaving the kid alone to simmer and finally calm down, are not options for you. This is the time when the kid actually needs you by their side. Your calm demeanour will eventually wear off on them as well.

Next up, assess the nature of the tantrums. Are they regular and getting increasingly violent? Is the kid lashing out physically? There are those innocent and harmless tantrums which can be resolved with more attention, love and care. However, there are other complex ones which require psychological counselling. You cannot live in a denial mode and hope that the phase passes over. It can get worse! So, dial up the best psychologist in Kolkata at Moner Alo and get professional help for your kids.  


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18/Jul/2018

In our legal system, there is little value for criminal psychologists, though there are provisions for much value addition to the investigating process. Criminal psychologists evaluate the mind of a criminal, the thinking process, the motives behind their criminal behaviour and why they do what they do. In Western countries like USA and UK, criminal psychologists are often called to testify in court and their words bear a lot of weight on how criminal investigations are done.

The police and other criminal investigation authorities can get a lot of help by engaging the services of a psychologist. There are crimes committed which are difficult to decipher. An investigator, no matter how much experienced, ends up at their wit’s end because criminal behaviour is often unique. They cannot bank upon their years of experience to catch a criminal at all times. There are also those cases where you need to pre-empt a criminal’s next move to catch them in the act. The task force needs a criminal psychologist to help them out.

Hardened criminals biding their time in prison houses need psychological evaluation at regular intervals. They may be hatching some plan or the other or making escape plans. They may have diabolical ideas piling up in their mind, waiting for the right trigger. A criminal psychologist can talk to them and find out what they are up to. Security arrangements can then be made to stop them from carrying out what they are intending to do. Ordinary police personnel cannot get into their mindscape to find this out.

Moner Alo has some experienced and professional psychologists who can help investigative teams in this regard. Our psychological evaluation will give a clearer idea of a criminal’s motives. This job includes profiling a criminal to get hold of them. For example, a criminal may not get nabbed unless the investigation develops a profile of how the criminal is in real life and what can be their life stories. Then, potential suspects are matched against this profile to figure out who might have done the criminal activity. It takes time but usually yields results.

Criminals don’t often commit crimes in broad daylight. You need to get into their minds to stop and nab them. Criminal psychologists help you do that.


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18/Jul/2018

In a traditional line of thinking, schools considered teachers to be the only help and guidance that they need. Teachers were expected to take care of every need of a student, including academic and psychological requirements. However, with more recognition and acknowledgment pouring in for psychological counselling in the recent years, schools now feel obliged to have a psychological counsellor present during school hours. Why is there such a pressing need for a counsellor when there are trained teachers on board?

For starters, teachers are well-versed in the tenets of teaching and not experts in psychological evaluations. Yes, when they are trained to be teachers, they undergo learning to understand the psychology of a student and how to handle classroom situations. But these lessons are on a superficial level. The teachers are not equipped to handle psychological situations like a child thinking of harming themselves or people around them. In such cases, identifying and dealing with the situation is of primary importance.

There are so many complications in the life of a student these days. There is peer pressure, competition to get ahead of the curve, the need to pick up and master so many different disciplines like drawing and dramatics, the need to manage time without crumpling down and so many others. For a child, it just becomes too much after a point. The child is bound to feel mental fatigue and think of simply chucking it all away one fine morning! A professional psychological counsellor will set such thoughts to rest without sounding patronizing or condescending.

Students are in perennial fear of failure. Failure to attain good grades, failure to fulfill the dreams of parents and family, fear of living up to expectations and the fear of not being successful in life. These fears take a student on a downward spiral. They are totally at sea to deal with this fear and yet come up trumps in their respective fields. When the fear of failure grips a student, their grip on studies and even general behaviour goes for a toss. Students need to hold on to a firm hand in these dire straits, something that a professional counsellor can provide.

Moner Alo believes everyone can reach the peak of success with proper motivation, and parents, peers and school can contribute towards such development. So, don’t wait for disaster to happen, take the right measure before it’s too late because mental health is the most neglected topic and it’s time now to take a necessary step.


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18/Jul/2018

When seasons change, especially in a city like Kolkata, the effect on your daily life is wholesome. For example, spring gives way to summer, a sultry time when you don’t feel like doing anything. It is expected that people will feel a little down and out because there is so much of humidity in the air, making you sluggish and sweaty. With more heat coming your way in the coming weeks, you are bound to feel depressed. For some people, this state of depression overstays, even after summer is on in full swing.

In other countries, where winter is severe and prolonged, the same kind of feeling takes over people after the autumn season gives way to the monotonous days of winter. Psychologists call this feeling of depression as SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder. As the name suggests, this disorder is brought about by the change of seasons. Through poetry and other literature dating back centuries, we have known that nature and seasonal changes have a distinct effect on human minds. This feeling of depression is just a manifestation of this feeling, just like you feel happy when there is a burst of rain after a hot, humid day.

SAD is not easily diagnosed because it blends in so well with other normal feelings. Like, you may feel lazy and upset because of the weather, but you term this phase as a normal passing one. However, SAD creeps up slowly and takes a vicious grip on your mind. In such cases, you are unable to focus on your work or studies for days on end. You have mood swings and find it irritating to socialize, even with close family and friends. During these times, you psychological counselling. Otherwise, the vicious grip tightens on you.

There are various reasons why Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD occurs in people. The most common one is the effect of sunlight on our body clock. With daytimes varying due to change of seasons, it upsets the normal secretion of the serotonin, a neurotransmitter that controls moods and triggers feelings of depression. There is long-term cure for SAD but its most pronounced hurdle is that people are unable to recognize its danger or its mere presence.

If you are feeling unduly upset or low because of seasonal changes, contact Moner Alo for a professional psychological evaluation by the best psychologists in Kolkata.


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18/Jul/2018

It is most common for teenagers to display a rebellious streak. As parents, guardians or teachers, you know and understand that the teenage years are when the hormones rage through the body, with the teenager having no clue on how to handle emotions. This is the time when the fallacies of childhood slip away, revealing a dark, dispassionate world full of failed expectations. The weight of expectation that a teenager carries, coupled with lack of opportunity to vent their creative energy, all add to make a teenager rebellious against accepted norms and customs.

Psychological counselling is the best way to handle these tumultuous years, especially when matters slip out of control. Psychologists are trained to help teenagers open up their fears and anxieties, something that they cannot do in the presence of adults like parents or teachers. There’s no harm in taking a teenager to consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

There are three different kinds of sessions that are undertaking by psychologists in such cases: individual therapy, group therapy and family therapy.

As the tags suggest, individual therapy is one-on-one interactions with the teenager in question. No one else gets to sit on these sessions, with the conversation taking place in absolute confidentiality, even to the extent of legal boundaries. No one can ask the psychologist to reveal what was conveyed during these conversations, unless the teenager concerned is a threat to someone’s life, including themselves. So, the teenager can speak out their minds in these sessions, opening up their mind to talk about aspects that they wouldn’t express otherwise. Such sessions are cathartic and help a lot.

Group therapy is useful for teenagers when they show low self-confidence or are too self-conscious about their problem. When they are put in a room with several other teenagers with similar issues, they feel that they are not alone. This gives them the boost they need to face and overcome their problem. When they find others with similar problems, they don’t feel singled out anymore.

Finally, family therapy is conducted to reintroduce the teenager to the family. Here the concerns of the teenager are conveyed to the family and the family’s viewpoint is put across to the teenager. This opens up a channel of communication between the two parties which have regarded each other as a threat till now. With a new relationship established and trust regained, teenagers tend to curb their rebellious self to a large extent, hoping for a fresh, positive start.


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18/Jul/2018

According to our psychologists and psychiatrists here at Moner Alo, the biggest hurdle for people who need psychological counseling is that they are ashamed of asking for it.

While people are okay with going to a doctor for a headache, fever or an upset tummy, they are not so prepared to seek help for depression, mood swings or emotional insecurities. The general feeling of people around the world is that when you go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, the impression you give out is that you are ‘mad’. People with mental issues often do not realize that they need psychological help, and when they do, their own concerns about being perceived as ‘mad’ stop them from seeking professional advice. As a result, complications ensue.

Asking for psychological counseling isn’t abnormal; doing the opposite is!

Mental health is as important, if not more, than physical well-being. Unless you are mentally free and liberated, you cannot focus on anything. For example, if you are depressed at all times, no amount of workout will help your physical state. There is no shame in admitting that you are feeling depressed or worried all the time. There are so many variables in our life. We don’t have the power to control them, despite our best efforts. There is only one way to work out the path: seek help when you need.

Visiting a psychologist also doesn’t mean that you are mentally weak. Why do you think sports persons who have conquered the world in their sporting arena, engage the help of psychologists? Are they mentally weak? Surely not, because they have won whatever there is to win. Yet, they are calling for help. It proves that even the best in the business require a mental boost now and then to keep them in their orbit. The same goes for those who are still struggling to find their feet.

There are times when you don’t realize you need the help of a professional psychologist. It’s because you don’t have the bird’s eye view of your own life. Only a family member or close friend, even a co-worker, can point it out to you. When that happens, try not to be defensive and think with an open mind. Ask for professional help and sort out your issues.

You owe it to everyone you love to be on your best mental faculties.


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18/Jul/2018

The morning newspapers reports that Mike Horn, a globally renowned motivator and inspirational speaker, would be camping with the Kolkata Knight Riders cricket team for a week here in Kolkata. This guy is not a cricketer, not a coach and neither is he connected to the game of cricket in any way. Yet, he was part of the cricket team contingent that won the cricket World Cup in 2011. He was also part of the team for Germany when they won the football World Cup in 2014.

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Why is he being hired by well-heeled teams across the world?

The reason is that sports persons need someone to take care of their mental health while they focus on their game. Each of these players knows how to play. Where they need a bit of push is their mental strength. Because of the level of competitiveness around, and the stakes getting higher each day, with more performers crowding the arena, they have to play their A game at all times. The insecurity and the fear of failure grip them by the throat.

Performance anxiety is the greatest hurdle to an excellent performance. That is the hurdle that is taken care of by sports psychologists. They delve deep into the psyche of the sports persons, bringing out their fears and weaknesses. Once laid bare or written down on a piece of paper, the faceless fear does not seem as intimidating anymore. Players are able to talk freely and voice their various concerns. The sports psychologist cuts through their baseless concerns and motivates them to play with confidence.

Sometimes, players are laid out with injuries. They miss entire seasons, sometimes a year or two. Being out of the actions for so long, they are crippled with doubt. They cannot figure out if they still have what it takes to compete on the big stage. Even for players who are playing regularly, they can get nervous before a big night on the field, like a semi-final or a final. They are worried about letting their fans, the team or the country down. Such thoughts only add mental burden and push their hand toward failure.

Psychological counseling can deal with this in an effective way. For fledgling players struggling to find their feet, psychologists can help you take your game to the next level. You can get the mental push from our experts at Moner Alo.


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18/Jul/2018

The duration of pregnancy is a time of great joy and excitement for both the woman and the man. Life developing in the womb is expected with a lot of anticipation. But this period is also dotted with diagnostic tests, doctors, medicines and various other engagements. The legwork, coupled with the mental stress, can have a telling effect on any couple. The woman tends to be withdrawn and overburdened with stress for the health of the developing fetus as well as her own physical state. The man is worried about keeping all loose ends neatly tied up.

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The stress of pregnancy often becomes a relationship killer. Often there are different goals of the two people which clashes. This usually happens when the pregnancy is unplanned and both parties in the mix have different ideas of where their relationship should go. There is also the question of financial security. Couples at the beginning of their careers don’t want to carry the financial load of pregnancy and the subsequent child. All of these emotions can boil over to scar a relationship.

A psychologist can bring about a calming influence on these otherwise raging emotions. It’s not just the volatile feelings that we are talking about here. Even women who are in a smooth, ‘normal’ pregnancy tend to show feelings of depression, mood swings and general pessimism about things. This could be due to the stress involved in the process or simply brought about by the turmoil of hormones. Medicines prescribed during pregnancies are supposed to have an effect on the hormones, so that is a probable cause which expresses itself through depression.

Psychological counselling will help a couple tide over these struggles. A psychologist will bring things into perspective, telling both the man and the woman what to expect and how to deal with the stress. Simply talking about their fears and insecurity, like body issues in women, will help to combat the feelings of being lost. Pregnancy demands that women remain in the pink of their mental health, along with their physical being. So, stress and negative thoughts can have an adverse effect on the health of both mother and child.

If you are dealing with pregnancy, it is wise to have a psychologist onboard to take you through the paces of being a father and a mother.


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18/Jul/2018

Tantrums are very common among children, especially among babies and pre-teens. They want everything to go their way. Otherwise, they raise a ruckus, inconveniencing parents and teachers at school. At times, their tantrums can be really difficult to handle, especially as they can get violent gradually. Parents are often at their wit’s end trying to figure out a way to handle their children, and so do the teachers at school. Child counselling can help to deal with an infant who shows outbursts once too often.

Here are some words of advice from professional psychological counsellors at Moner Alo to guide you in your effort to handle animosity from juvenile.

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First up, you need to be consistent and patient. Children, especially babies, don’t like their routines to tamper. They become very particular when it comes to meal timings, including scheduled walks in the evening or play hours. Unless they get their daily fix, they will resort to animosity. You may feel that an infant has no idea about time, but that’s a totally wrong idea! They have a very natural understanding of their daily habits and if disturbed, they resent vehemently.

To ensure that you maintain consistency in your schedule, you need to plan ahead. For example, if you are taking your kid to the supermarket, make sure that they are properly fed. Children get hungry as you keep shopping and the idea of feeding the child slips your mind. Hungry children will cry and you may deem it as throwing animosity! So, be sure to plan the kid’s meals and sleep times in a way that does not interfere with the usual routine of the child.

Allowing your kid to make choices is a great idea. Don’t always push down your opinion on matters of clothes or shoes. Allow the kids to decide the colour for the day: a red tee or a green one. That way, the child understands that you value opinion and are open to suggestions. This will encourage them to express themselves instead of simply flaring up. It also teaches the child, more so if the child is a pre-teen, about decision making and owning up to those decisions.

You, being the responsible adult, have to work out ways to circumnavigate around the temper of kids. Work with a psychologist for better results.

 






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