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16/Feb/2019

In the age of social media and urban dictionaries, you must have heard about the phrase ‘drama queen’. Irrespective of gender, this phrase is used to describe people who have a special liking for drama in order to attract attention toward themselves. They want to be at the center of the limelight at all times. The moment someone else draws away the focus from them, they feel threatened and throw tantrums.

On the surface, it may seem like something harmless. After all, we all have friends and family members who fit this phrase perfectly! However, there is more to this than meets the eye. People who have a passion for drawing attention often go overboard in their effort to do so. They may adopt unhealthy practices and actions so that they focus remains of them. A case in point is that student in the class who wouldn’t obey the teacher simply because the teacher paid him attention, however negative that attention might be.

There are deep psychological reasons why some people simply cannot bear to be a part of a group, or fall back in the background. They have to be at the forefront at all times. These reasons could be rooted in their childhood when they did not get the necessary attention from their parents. Usually, a quieter sibling may find it difficult to grab the attention of parents in the presence of a more extroverted child. Such children grow a sense of fear and insecurity. They are worried that people will ignore their presence and forget all about them. They want to be remembered, no matter what.

All goes along fine as long as the attention-seeking behavior is limited to a certain extent. If that boundary is breached, psychological counseling becomes crucial. If unchecked, such behavior can lead to substance abuse and self-harm. It may also cause other psychological problems that are more harmful to the person concerned and everyone around them. So, if you know someone who is a bit of a ‘drama queen’, make sure you give them a balanced sense of attention. Ignoring or indulging can both be detrimental to their mental state.


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16/Feb/2019

We are living in the times of debt. There are so many avenues in which people incur debt. It can be in the form of home loans, education loans, credit card bills or simply personal loans. The ease and simplicity associated with getting a loan these days has encouraged people to incur more debt.

Since the process is easier and the number of agencies offering loans at competitive interest rates, it is a viable option to resolve your financial woes with borrowed money. It has only later than the gradually mounting EMIs become too much to bear.

Being overburdened with debt and outstanding loans can be a very damaging psychological state of mind. If you are worried about your finances, you may feel that you are constantly worried about it. Often in the night, you may wake up in cold sweat. Loans to pay can lead to depression and anger issues. You may find that your social life is up for a toss because all you can think or talk about is money. That can be quite off-putting for friends and family members. Your loans take center-stage in your life and that is not a good mental state to be in.

If you are feeling that all the above descriptions match with your mental being now, you need psychological counselling. Let’s face it, you can pay off your debts only if you are mentally stable enough to work professionally. Unless that is possible, you will find yourself out of work very soon and that will not help matters when it comes to paying off your debts. So, for your own good, you need to be in sound mental health and professionally capable. With a hangover of debt, you will find that mistakes are being made in your work and that is never a good sign.

A trained and professional psychologist will help you handle your debt worries. People in debt often get sucked into a spiral of borrowing money. You borrow money to pay off debts and it keeps getting murkier. A psychologist will help you understand the mental aspects of handling worries about finances and stop the temptation of borrowing money to combat debt.

When you get a grip on this easy way out of borrowing more money, with the help of a psychologist, you will be in a better position to pay off debts.


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16/Feb/2019

In the countries of Europe or America, there are group therapy sessions under the banner of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to deal with the problem of alcoholism. However, in India and especially in the city of Kolkata, there aren’t many such groups that will help you come out of the problem of alcoholism. This has a lot to do with the taboo surrounding the problem of drinking. Most alcoholics are unwilling to acknowledge that they have a problem and they need help. This is the biggest hurdle in dealing with the problem.

Many alcoholics do not think that they qualify as one. They live in a state of denial and get defensive, even abusive and violent, if they are pressed on this issue to seek help. What makes the problem more complicated is that when they are not under the influence of alcohol, they lead respectable, social lives. It is only when they hit the bottle that they turn into a completely different person, ignoring the interests of family, friends and their professional lives.

Psychological Counselling to Deal with Alcoholism

The job of a psychologist dealing with an alcoholic is tough because the ego and morale of the person concerned cannot be hurt. If they feel threatened or humiliated, the treatment will not go a long way. Additionally, abstaining from alcohol after prolonged addiction can lead to tremendous stress on the body, sometimes leading to seizures. So a psychologist has to be ready for such situations and discuss medications beforehand.

A major reason for alcoholism is relapsing into the habit even after kicking the bottle. Alcoholics require constant motivation so that they are encouraged to keep abstaining, despite the temptations.

Friends and family members of alcoholics have to play a strong role in their treatment. Without their support, the affected person cannot go the whole way. The worth of the person concerned needs to be emphasized regularly so that they know that their efforts in fighting alcoholism are being met with appreciation. That will motivate them further. A psychologist will have to take their family into confidence when required.

In terms of psychological counselling alone, both group and individual therapies are effective, depending upon the individual in question. However, it is wrong to think that only will power will help fight alcoholism. Alcoholics require professional psychological counselling as well.


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16/Feb/2019

In the last few years, people are more aware of psychological problems and their need to get professional help when required. Mental health issues are no longer what you would brush under the carpet. There are several mental conditions which afflicted human beings in normal everyday life but they could not attach a name for these problems. However, when they started knowing the names of these problems like depression or anxiety disorders, there came a trend of confusing one problem with another. It requires a trained professional psychologist to tell you to correct what ails your mental health. One of the more common confusions in psychological diagnosis, especially when done by untrained people, is the difference between neurosis and psychosis.

People tend to use one label for another and that can be quite damaging. In this blog, our professional psychologists at Moner Alo draw the line in the sand so you know what is neurosis and what is psychosis.

Neurosis is an aggravated state of mind, where your anxieties, fears, and emotions get a little out of control. It causes minor upheavals in the mind and that can bring about feelings of distress and depression. Here you have to understand that there is a certain degree of neurosis in every human being. It is a way of life. It’s only when they start to get a little over the top that you will require psychological intervention.

Let us take an example. There are many in the world who fear to speak in public. It could be before a gathered group of friends or a motley band of strangers. When pushed to do so, they feel excessive perspiration or even vomiting. This is neurotic behavior and it is usually not very severe. You can get a grip on your neurotic behavior by controlling your mind.

Psychosis is a more severe form of mental affliction, which incidentally has the same symptoms as neurosis. But psychosis is unlike neurosis in the fact that it is not a way of life. Psychosis is usually triggered by something, like a deep-seated fear of snakes or spiders. Also, psychosis is a temporary mental state and once the trigger is removed, a person goes back to being their normal self. The intake of some drugs can also trigger psychosis.
Let trained psychologists decide which condition you have.


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16/Feb/2019

There is a wide spectrum of feelings that a person goes through after a breakup. Whether the relationship has been for a short duration or for years, the feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal, and dejection is quite common. As they say, time is a great healer and there is some truth in it. But you cannot mope around in self-pity and squander away your life for any length of time. There are personal and professional commitments that demand your attention and the quicker you take charge of your life again, the better it is for you and for everyone around you.

However, it is easier said than done. Most people who have been through a breakup are unable to process this change in their lives. They still live under the impression that things will get back to what they were before this tumult hit them. For most, the difficult part of dealing with a breakup is this phase where you cannot accept that a relationship is over. This mode of denial is the number one hurdle in the path to recovery. Friends and family around you continue to mention your previous partner and that makes matter worse.

What’s more, this circle of friends and family are the only people you can talk to about your breakup. But they probably knew your previous partner as well. So they come to your help with their own ideas and thoughts about your relationship and what sort of a person your partner was. You cannot talk to them freely either, because you fear that they will judge you. This inability to actually open up your mind to someone, bottles up your feelings to a dangerous extent.

This is where professional psychological counseling becomes very effective. A professional psychologist is objective and knows neither you nor your previous partner. You can speak to a psychologist freely without the fear of being judged. You can tell them what is going through your mind and with their professional training, they will uncork your mind to find out what is actually ailing your mental health. Even in cases where the person concerned is unable to speak freely, trained psychologists know how to circumnavigate through this problem.

After a breakup, don’t allow yourself to be swamped with negative thoughts. Put yourself before anything else and get the help you need.


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16/Feb/2019

Work is stressful, no matter what you do. You may work alone in a startup or as a freelancer, or in an office. Professionals who work in low-stress jobs are also under some pressure or the other at some point. However, ignoring regular stress at work can have a negative effect on the mind. It also brings down your productivity and how successful you are as a professional. It may lead to burnout or mental breakdown.

We asked the best psychologists with us here at Moner Alo and these are some tips to handle daily work stress.

First up, inculcate a hobby. While this may seem vague on first sight, it actually is very good advice. A hobby may be reading, watching movies or simply listening to music. It is not mandatory that your hobby is something out of the box. It can be something generic and obvious. But you have to work towards maintaining this hobby. It relaxes your brain and gives you focus. That comes in handy when you get back to your work desk after a weekend.

Secondly, play a sport. It can be cricket or football or any other sport. Do note that video games on the computer or gaming console don’t qualify as sports! Along with playing, exercising is also crucial. It releases hormones from the body that spreads out like happiness in the body. Exercising can be good for the body, mainly when you stay cooped up at your desk all the time. It relaxes the mind and clears away the stress.

Thirdly, spend some time networking. It need not be professional networking as you would do on LinkedIn. It can be entirely personal through platforms like Facebook. Connect with your school and college buddies. The basic idea is to take your mind away from work when you are enjoying your leisure.

Finally, spend some time with your family and friends. Talk to them every day, at morning or night. Talk about your life and listen to them talking about theirs. It gives you a sense that you have a happening life outside of your professional sphere. It lets you know that you are loved and wanted, no matter how much rejection you face at work. It buoys your spirit after a grueling professional day.

If the stress and gloom don’t dispel this day, get in touch with the best psychologists in Kolkata, Moner Alo.


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16/Feb/2019

The life of retirement doesn’t come easy for anyone. All along a person has been working, leaving and arriving at home at a particular time of the day, contributing financially to a family and household. Suddenly, one morning, there is nowhere to go after retiring from work. At such an age, when it is very much possible to have been isolated from friends of a younger time, some of them probably not around anymore, with a family that is busy in its own way, the hours at home doing nothing substantial or meaningful can be a very harrowing experience.

It is only natural for senior citizens who are retired from active professional life to feel unwanted and redundant. From an earning and contributing member of the family, they become dependent to a certain extent, if not fully. Even then, they are not earning as much as they did when they were actively working. Pension is surely not at par with a salary. For people working in the private sector, there is no such thing as pension anyway, unless it was self-guaranteed. Living on restrained and curtailed means can be burdensome.

The financial aspect is only a part of the mental agony that retired professionals have to go through. There is also a growing sense of isolation from the immediate family. You have been away at work for your life and the family around you is used to leading a life without your presence. All of a sudden, your presence seems a little stretched and grating as well. They are not used to having you around and you are not used to be at home for these long stretches of time. You don’t know what to do and they don’t know where you fit in the scheme of things.

Psychological counseling can dispel the feelings of loneliness and redundancy that starts to creep in. If you feel rejected or neglected, you should seek professional psychological help. With this boost to your mental health and someone to share your problems within an objective manner, you will feel lighter on the head and heart. If you have retired recently and the above sentences resonate with your state of mind, get in touch with our psychologists at Moner Alo, the best psychological counseling in Kolkata.


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16/Feb/2019

The most astounding aspect of sibling rivalry is that very few siblings can trace its genesis. Most seem to be unaware of that exact moment when they started to think of their sibling as their rival. Equations between siblings changed thereon and things were never the same. However, what can be said with some degree of surety is that the rivalry is generally caused due to some intended or unintended behavior or action of the parents.

A couple once came to our best psychiatrist in Kolkata at Moner Alo with a son and a daughter who didn’t seem to like each other at all, giving way to vicious fights and general hatred towards each other. On psychological evaluation and study, our psychiatrist found out that the matter started because the parents favored their son over their daughter in very unintended, but obvious ways. Repeatedly reminded that the daughter was inferior to the son instilled some deep-rooted hate towards the brother. Surely you can’t blame a young girl from feeling that way when she finds her share of a parent’s love and affected being hijacked by someone else.

Parents have to look for signs of sibling rivalry among their children. It is always the parents who can detect some sense of viciousness or malice among their children. When they find such symptoms, they should look for professional psychological counseling. Such negative emotions should never be allowed to simmer and brew unattended. If ignored, the problem can get complicated. A trained psychologist will get to the root of the rivalry and encourage the warring siblings into talking about their sense of insecurity. Once said, those negative emotions lose much of their bite.

In the construct of a family, no parent can afford to have a sibling rivalry going unchecked. It can disturb the peace and tranquillity of the home, endangering the emotional security of the children involved. As a responsible parent, don’t allow it to settle down and gather steam. Diffuse it with psychological help and your child will thank you later in their lives when they realize for themselves how misplaced their rivalry and aggression was.


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16/Feb/2019

It is only natural for people to doubt their ability. You are worried about the fact if you belong to a particular class or job position. You may be feeling that you will let others, and yourself, down in a bad way. That, in turn, complicates the problem further. You cannot shake off your anxiety and it bogs down on you, obstructing the full potential of your capability. It requires a lot of willpower and mental strength to overcome these nagging feelings of self-doubt: am I good enough?

We asked some of the experts here at Moner Alo, the best psychiatric clinic in Kolkata if it was possible to fight these feelings where you doubt yourself and what you can do. According to our professional psychologists, there are three ways in which you can combat these feelings of self-doubt.

Firstly, you need to learn to take a decision and stick to it. Indecision is a major reason why many people are unable to fulfill their dreams and aspirations. It’s not enough that you make a decision. You need to have the courage to stick to it, even when you feel that things are not working to your expectation, at least initially. After some time has passed and you feel compelled to make a judgment call about your decision is something different. But in the initial stages, you have to make a decision and work on what you have decided. As they say, a wrong decision at the right time is better than the right decision at the wrong time.

Secondly, you need to evaluate your idea of what you can achieve. Measure your expectations on a realistic scale. Bring down your ideas of ‘perfect’, be it in the case of jobs or class grades. When you are less worried about the perfect or ideal state of everything you do, you are able to shrug off a lot of unwanted burdens. As a result, you are lighter on your mind, and on your feet. It opens up your mind and who knows, you may be able to achieve the high notes that you wanted to strike in the first place. Don’t aim for the 5th level before you have even crossed the 1st one.

Finally, think positively, no matter what the situation is. There are so many times when we ignore the positive side of what we do, even if people appreciate us. Out of the 10 things we are supposed to do, we may be doing seven and getting appreciated. However, we are hard on ourselves and dwell on the undone three. That breeds self-doubt like nothing else.

Keep faith in yourself and do what you can. Self-doubt will fade away.


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16/Feb/2019

What is ADHD?

ADHD symptoms

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental disorder of the neurodevelopmental type. ADHD characterized by problems paying attention, excessive activity, or difficulty controlling behaviour which is not appropriate for a person’s age.

The symptoms appear before a person is twelve years old, are present for more than six months.

Impacts of ADHD  in Teenage Children :

Teenage children are extremely difficult to deal with, most of the times. Their hormones are in a
state of rage, giving them mood swings. They are either very happy or suffering from loneliness.

This is also the age when they feel that every piece of advice given to them is a warning to them.

So, they are unable to listen to any word of advice, dismissing them as being something from people
who don’t know or understand them? These are very common among teenagers and parents
develop their own methods of dealing with these situations.

However, if your teenager suffers from ADHD, you need to get professional psychological help immediately.

The symptoms of ADHD:

  1. Teenagers suffering from this mental condition are unable to focus on anything.
  2. Gives no close attention to details.
  3. Unable to sit still in a single place.
  4. Has a short attention span and is easily distracted.
  5. Is unable to stick at tasks that are tedious or time-consuming.

ADHD can very harmful?

Research shows that teens suffering from that type of disease often end up in dangerous driving accidents because they lose their attention and focus while they are on the wheel!

Parents who have teens suffering from this are better advised to keep them away from driving.

ADHD is also affecting their studies. They are very inattentive in class. You can even find them playing with the piece of paper while the lessons are on.

According to Psychologists, teens who are suffering from that disease require more care and nurturing than others who don’t suffer from this problem.

How to cure ADHD?

A good way to deal with this problem is to keep calm at all times. It is natural for you as a parent to
get frustrated with their low grades or poor behaviour.

You may feel that they are wasting their potential and talent in trivial pursuits. Losing your own calm won’t help, but complicate matters.
Take note that pressure from your side as a parent can lead them to alcoholism or drug abuse.

Finally, consult a professional psychologist. Medication isn’t always necessary. But therapy is a must
to deal with ADHD.

Delay in treatment can be quite damaging for the teenager.

 

 

 

 






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